Oh, go on…. No really, go on.

I am prepared to admit that I’m hooked on Praise. On being praised, that is. I do like to dish it out as well, but there’s nothing like a little adoration and appreciation to get one’s day off to a fantastic start.

I’ve always known that I had a secret weapon in my self esteem tool bag which was my ability to constantly say nice things to myself inside my head.

I suppose it was part of how I coped with being so terribly shy and fearful as a child. I would disappear into my own world and be wonderful and adored and brave and beautiful. Why stick around being a shlumpy little scared girl when I could be in a world where I was constantly being praised for whatever it was I was doing?

I’ll admit that I still do it. Sometimes I catch myself and laugh now. It’s completely second nature and I don’t think I could stop it if I wanted to. But also, why would I want to?

If you see me out somewhere, all by myself, shopping or running errands, driving or whatever, and I’m smiling peacefully regardless of what’s going on around me, you can be pretty certain that I’m listening to someone you can’t see tell me I’m the greatest driver, or grocery shopper, or human being they’ve ever met.

Just recently I was faced with a situation that brought my addiction into the “real world.” My sister Cassy has been off her rocker, over the top thanking me for helping with the website for Rita’s Rainbows. I started to feel like, “enough already”, I’m almost embarrassed. But then, I guess I didn’t talk to her for a day and I found that I missed my daily dose of Praise. I capitalize it because that is how significant it is to me. The next time I talked to Cassy, and she told me again how amazing I am, I just relaxed into and basked. It was great. And it made me feel happy.

In this case, I’m happy first and foremost because I was able to do some tiny thing to make my sister happy. She’s truly an angel on earth and is so kind and loving to everyone around her. So, it’s a mix of getting praise and knowing it means that she’s a little bit happy because of something I had a hand in.

I’m also kind of proud of the site and I really did learn a lot in the process of doing it. It was such a win-win for me.

So, what is the upshot of all this?

Well, I’ve realized that I want more praise in real life. It occurs to me that it would not feel like too much to me if my husband thanked me every single day for doing the dishes and feeding everyone around here. And it’s only fair to add that my husband is pretty darn appreciative already.

I think it might be nice for anyone who does a lot of household chores every day. An experiment of one day wouldn’t be enough. I’d suggest a week at least. It has to be enough so that the Prais-er really feels how much the Prais-ee is doing. If just saying “thank you” that many times in a week feels like a burden, the Prais-er should consider what it’s like to actually do the work. And Prais-ee could see if it makes a difference in changing the feeling of the tasks from burden or chore to pleasure.

I won’t speak for everyone, but I’ll admit for myself that I just want to be adored. All the time, and for everything.

Anyone else? Come on people, don’t leave me hanging.